Jealous and Spoiled

Jealous of the Hope that youth affords

Jealous of Perspective that travel rewards

Jealous of the Trust of a little child

Jealous of the Zeal of a Patriot riled

Spoiled by the Riches of this life

Spoiled in a land without war or strife

Spoiled by receiving all that I need

Spoiled by the lack of the hunger I feed

Jealous of those miraculously healed

Jealous of Wisdom long life reveals

Jealous of entering His Kingdom today

Jealous of clearly pointing the way

Spoiled by The Message lost in the sound

Spoiled by the presence of loved-ones around

Spoiled by my books and Bibles piled high

Spoiled by the Knowledge that I am His child

Be jealous only of a relationship with God through the Spirit of God, Be spoiled only by His Love. 

“Or do you suppose that the Scripture is speaking to no purpose that says The Spirit Whom He (God) has caused to dwell in us yearns over us and He (God) yearns for the Spirit [to be welcome] with a jealous love?” James 4:5 AMP

Acceptance

Acceptance was the topic of the teaching this week at church. It’s on my mind, but that’s nothing unusual. I think about it a lot. My husband looks at me from across the room and mouths, “Your beautiful.” I feel self-conscious all of a sudden and I half smile back. He knows I didn’t believe him. I’m thinking of the veins and wrinkles and dimples I hide. He tries again. Even after nearly a quarter of a century together I still find it hard to accept his words. Maybe because of all the times in the past where I know I wasn’t acceptable, possibly was told I didn’t meet the standard. How we remember those… far more than the many times we have heard the positives. How is it the negatives carry the greater weight? Silly me, I know better and who cares what the “standard” is? Who set it anyway? I am loved. Yes, by my husband, but more importantly by my Father. I am loved with an everlasting love, a love that transcends all understanding and reason. The Wondrous Gigantic Creator of everything loves little ‘ol me! Can any words be sweeter than Romans 8:30 with “me” inserted in place of “them?”- And having chosen (me), He called (me) to come to Him. And having called (me), He gave (me) right standing with Himself. And having given (me) right standing, He gave (me) His glory! I am accepted. I have been made acceptable through Jesus, no matter the standard, no matter my own opinion. I am loved through and through. My Father calls me beautiful in His sight, and miraculously He has given my husband eyes to see what I can’t. I turn and tell him how much I love him and how much his words mean to me. I’m both humbled and thankful that I am not my judge, all former judgements mean nothing. In acceptance lies peace. In the knowledge of God’s great love I can accept other love. Secure, held, full to overflowing.

“God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who He is, and we know who we are: Father and children.” Romans 8:16 The Message

Fundraising with Memory Quilts

I am attempting some fundraising for David’s medical bills. His next surgery will be June the 12th and we have yet to pay off last year’s hospital and anesthesiology debts (I bet he’ll be wanting that again!).

I am making and selling “Memory Quilts” out of tee shirts. These seem to be especially popular with the graduating Seniors! 12 – 20 tee shirts make a nice sized throw.

Each quilt is $75 ($50 of this will go to paying hospital bills – $25 covers all my supplies). You can order here, on facebook or Caringbridge. Thank you for all of your prayers -we surely have felt them! I hope that I can help you make a memory. Blessings, Anna

A Place To Start

When my mind, soul and body have been under the stress and strain of  emotional trauma, I have definitely needed extra help focusing my thoughts on God. Focus in any form can be a challenge -sometimes it’s been near impossible. I’ve left my keys and phone in strange places, I’ve forgotten to do very normal everyday activities and when other people have been talking to me I’ve heard about half of what they were saying. Life and death stress will do that to you! Any kind of stress can put the brain  on overload. One of my friends, while her body was in a state like this, left her car running in a parking space at the movie theater and went inside to watch a movie. Thankfully her car wasn’t stolen!

 

More than ever before, at times like this we all need to feel the Lord close and to be feeding on His Word. I can remember times kneeling and my mind racing in all directions. I would cry for lack of words and what exactly to pray. I’d hold my Bible and my thoughts would just go blank. I couldn’t even think which verses to turn to. It was frustrating. I needed a place to start.

My dear friend gave me a treasure at this time, it became a life-line. It was a small daily devotional. Just a short message of hope about God’s love for me, followed by several scripture references to look up. I didn’t have to think, I only had  open it up every morning and read the day’s treasure. I always believed God would have something personally for me, every day. I just kept on reading in the Bible until I found it!

I remember clinging to that little book and my Bible in waiting areas and hospital rooms.

It was a place to begin and it launched me into further study again and again. I’m sure it will always be precious in my library because of the little notes of daily struggles scribbled across the pages. I’ve already been reminded so many times of how God met me when I needed it most.

The next time you have a friend, a family member or even find yourself  in a place like I’ve described, I pray this idea of offering a “place to start” will help. Something light, something encouraging…
it just may be a life-line.

Can and Will

Facing surgery again this summer is no fun. For those that know us, we have had our fill of hospital stays and unexpected procedures. In October of 2010 my husband, David was diagnosed with colon cancer. That initial surgery lead to a severe infection (sepsis) from a tear and resulted in several other procedures and surgeries, with a long recovery time. Here we are nearly a year and a half from the time we began… and it’s not over yet.

Through all of these “adventures” I have discovered that I LOVE to write. And because, in all of these things God has continually shown Himself faithful, I have something to write about. He has driven home to me personally again and again that He has a plan and He is able!

There is something to knowing and believing your Father will take care of you. I had believed He was able to do anything, before this season came along. There’s a children’s song we used to sing at our church club that goes, “My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God can not do for you.” This wasn’t hard for me to take in; the fact that God can. The difficult part  for me came in the moments when I needed Him to act on our behalf… now! Would He do something right at that moment for us? Yes He could, but would He… for me?

Who knows the mind of God, but the Spirit of God. How can we ever assume to predict what He’s got up His sleeve… or where He’s going with “this?” The peace that passes all understanding came and settled in my heart -to stay, when I let it all go, fell back into His everlasting arms and finally came to the point of KNOWING, He wouldn’t do anything unless it was for my good. And I could be assured of His willingness to do it.

Ahhh the peace, the rest, the ability to move through all the days with the knowledge He WILL, He WILL, He WILL. Had I not walked through the fire and the flood over and over; had I not felt His hands hold me again and again, I may not know this amazing blessed assurance. It is just as Jesus said it would be in Matthew 5:4:

“Blessed and enviably happy [with a happiness produced by the experience of God's favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace] are those who mourn,  for they shall be comforted!”AMP

No matter what your “mourning” [sadness, grief, distress, longing unfulfilled] is caused by, be comforted and KNOW He will (work it for good) for you. -A

Easier Than I Thought

When I was a child, we attended a church that used a lot of ceremony and repetition in their services. I memorized many prayers and hymns that I used to speak to God. When I discovered Jesus as my own personal Savior and friend, I found out that praying could come from my heart, in my own words. I could even sing praises I made up myself.

The longer I have walked with the Lord (and the last 36 months have felt like a lifetime!) the more I have realized it’s easier than I thought. The whole “giving and taking” of my relationship with Him doesn’t have to be frantic or hard pressed. I do believe it’s important to set aside focused time for the 2 of us, but there’s no need to set a timer or accomplish a list of prayers. He’s flexible and He knows all I have to do. When I simply focus on enjoying Him, He makes available to me what I so desperately need in a “quiet time” and throughout the day.

More and more, I can sense His presence during those moments of life’s chaos. He is there, measured and steady, available no matter what whirls about me. I am learning, with each circumstance, to breathe slowly and focus on being aware of Him. It takes effort. It takes practice. The difference? My reaction. Those brief seconds before that look crosses my face or that word pops out of my mouth, are critical. It changes me. It changes the atmosphere around me.

I’m all feelings, I’m passionate, I’m dramatic. God is love and truth and mercy and calm. Him through me makes ALL the difference. This peace is more available to me every second of every moment, than I could’ve imagined. It’s just there… available to be tapped into. Trust that He IS. Trust that He WILL. Trust that He DOES. Like the saying goes, it’s really not all about me… it’s all about Him! And it’s thankfully becoming easier than I thought.

He Loves Me

My heart is overwhelmed, but in a good way. It’s full of the Goodness of God!

Who is this God Who listens to me and hears my prayers?

Who is this God Who loves those I love and cares for those I care about,far more than I do?

Who is this God so full of compassion and mercy that He protects and rescues us from our own foolishness?

Who is this amazing God so full of GRACE?

I can hardly believe He chose to know me.

He called me and waited until I came in all my limited ability to understand Him.

He puts up with my short-sighted, weak-minded faith, ever committed to the challenge of making it grow.

Unrelenting… Ever-present… Everlasting…

This is my God Who’s beyond description!

And yet, He calls to me still, to know Him more.

Oh, how I love Him, because He first loved me! -A

We love Him, because He first loved us. 1John 4:19