Trust

This last year has been about the biggest test of trust I’ve ever had.

Since about a month following my husband’s last surgery, I’ve been putting down on paper the story of his bought with cancer. I think it’s important for 2 reasons, 1 for the children to have in the future and 2 as a personal testimony for me of all that God has done during this season. I don’t want to forget this. When I first printed out all of the Caringbridge posts I’d written, I sat on the floor and couldn’t put it down. There were pages and pages of daily recordings of all that we went through from October 2010 to June 2011. I cried. It was gut wrenching to me. So much I had already forgotten about! It was kind of like reading someone else’s journal. I guess when you go through a crisis like that, it just happens to you and you’re carried along. But now reading it, even I wonder at how we made it through.

God has been so good, so gracious, so merciful! To Him be ALL the glory!He prepared us, He directed us. We didn’t know what we were doing… didn’t have a clue. As a matter of fact, David and I actually “price shopped” for his colonoscopy! Because he owns his own business we carry our own insurance and our deductible is HUGE. When he finally decided that it was time to see a doctor about his colon, we discovered that prices varied greatly (between $1,600 and $8,000). We chose the cheapest route never believing that it was cancer. God lead us through that process and all of the others.

Ending up in Birmingham for surgery was NOT my ideal. I couldn’t see how that was going to work. And besides, didn’t Atlanta have plenty of hospitals and doctors? Why were we going all the way over there just because his Dad knew this doctor? Didn’t everyone see how far away we would be from the kids?

God directed my husband and I learned another lesson in trusting Him. I believe God leads David. “But I want you to know and realize that Christ is the Head of every man, the head of a woman is her husband, and the Head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3 AMP)I can trust those decisions my husband makes because I KNOW God loves me and protects our family through him. My only question  should always be, “Do I trust God?” Whether I can see the big picture or not, whether any of the plan makes sense to me or not, I’ve got to trust God’s got my back. He did.  On the other side now, I can say, He is EVER faithful, He takes loving care of all those who put their trust in Him.

-Anna

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