Our Biblestudy had an interesting discussion the other day on “love languages”. Gary Smalley made the term famous with his book by the same title. It basically discusses the form in which people like to give and receive love. What makes you feel most loved: gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service or touch? Our discussion reminded me of a journal entry I wrote several years back to give to my girls (someday) on intimacy in marriage. It’s something I believe is so important but not always talked about.
“-Girls, many books have been written about how to love your mate. Everyone needs to feel loved and discovering how your special someone perceives love is a great tool. But I want to tell you that among all the love languages… most men crave physical intimacy. It’s a huge part of what attracts them to marriage in the first place (especially Christian men). Otherwise they would be content to simply be your friend. This amazing connection that God has gifted us with as wives, is the “glue of oneness.” Your Heavenly Father has called you to be closer to your mate than ANYONE else on earth. Our marriages are an amazing example of Christ and His body “the church” (Eph. 5:31 & 32).
We have talked before about how God honors sowing and reaping. The Bible speaks again and again of this principle in the areas of money, time, wisdom, knowing God and even raising children. Sowing into your husband’s primary love language (as you wish he would do in yours) will only bring great reward! “Give and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full -pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” Luke 6:38
If this is your husband’s love language, speak it. Never begrudgingly, for you don’t belong to yourself any longer (1Cor. 7:4). God has equipped you to uniquely fulfill a God-given need in your mate. And all of God’s gifts are good! This whole thing was His idea, so go to Him with your questions and concerns. Nothing is too small or too big for our Abba. And I pray that the Lord tremendously blesses your “oneness”. Love Mom”