Thanksgiving 2011 was coming quickly and I felt panicked. With our financial situation unchanged, I began begging God for a miracle. What would we do for Christmas and end-of-the-year taxes? How were we going to cover everything needed? Each delema seemed so hopeless and there was no where to turn. Where was God?
Sure enough, as it’s happened before, I was lying awake in the middle of the night crying out to Him (silently) that we needed a miracle, when I heard that still small voice tell me, “Everything will work out by Thanksgiving. Everything will be covered by Thanksgiving.” I was amazed, thrilled and very excited. “Everything? Like all the bills and the debt and taxes and, and everything?”….
In the morning, I couldn’t wait to tell David. He cautiously got excited as we both waited it out. Nothing happened for the rest of November. Nothing. It’s silly I guess, but I was really disappointed. All I’d ever “heard” God tell me before, had come true. What was happening? Was I just full of wishful thinking? I couldn’t understand.
A new month was about to begin. I was out on our driveway early one morning before school, taking the trash to the curb. The moon was so bright, as I stood there looking up into the sky. “Ok , Lord, what did I miss? I know what I heard You say about Thanksgiving. So what’s up?” All at once I knew, “by thanksgiving” as in by my giving of thanks… not a time or a holiday, but an attitude.”
OH! I hadn’t thought of it like that. It all made sense to me. I’d been begging, groveling, possibly even whining to God; the proverbial woman knocking and knocking and knocking. Had I forgotten about thanking Him, with a thankful attitude? My prayers changed immediately and continue even to this day! They sound something like,
“Lord, thank You for all that You’re doing on our behalf. Thank You for covering our bills, our debt and taxes. You always know what we need and Your timing is perfect. I can trust You Father and leave everything in Your hands. I know You will provide. You have good plans for us, full of hope and not disaster. You make everything work out according to Your plan. Thank You for speaking to me and helping me understand Your words. I WILL walk by faith and NOT by sight, because I know that You love me”
I promise you my attitude of heart has changed. I simply have more peace; more joy in the midst of everything. There has been no wind-fall, but God continues to provide bit by bit. He somehow keeps our head above water. Each provision is a miraculous “God-send.” I will continue to wait on Him… with a mouth full of thankful prayers. -A