In the month of October, at the one year mark of David’s battle with cancer, I prayed for success. Success for our family and what that truly meant in the eyes of God. It was an eye-opener. In November I decided to focus my attention on confidence. Confidence in who God says He is and what it means for me to daily come with confidence before the throne of grace.
I have to admit both ideas came from all that we have gone through as a family over the last year and all that still lingers. I really want to grasp what God is trying to teach us and to grow in the areas where we need it most. And I also just want the high level of stress to stop.
So much of what I’m learning has been about MY attitude… as usual. Trial or no trial contentment is what I’m supposed to have. Peace that God is in control and confidence that He sees, He hears and He knows and is working on our behalf. It’s always the same lesson for me, learned over and over through new and various circumstances. Each round of tests seems a little tougher. God is one persistant trainer.
Is He cruel to try us so? No. I firmly believe that it is all for my good… as I allow Him access to my heart. I am learning on a yet a deeper level that He DOES love me and that I CAN trust Him. I wish I could pass on my confidence in His plan to others, especially to my kids, but this is experienced belief. Faith has to be owned. I suppose we have to walk through the valley ourselves, not just read about it. We have to want to search out His unfailing love. He promises we can find these things.
For January I’m looking deeper into that unfailing Love. I want to know what it looks like; recognize it everyday. I want to wallow in it morning ’til night. Then I want to be so full of it that it oozes out of me and onto others.
“Lord, I thank you for the trials You’ve sent us; hard as they have been. Thank You for proving Yourself to me in yet another way. You never cease to amaze. A tailor-made life for each of us… what more could we ask for? Use it all for Your glory.”-A