To Publish Or Not To…

I have just finished my first book. It’s a journal of my husband’s battle with cancer in 2010-2011. No, it’s more like the story of our family, as my husband battled cancer. I don’t have a title yet. On the computer it comes up, “David’s Cancer Story.” He hates that, but his suggestions would keep it out of the Christian bookstores (“Poop” Happens, Up “Poo” Creek Without a Paddle…)! I don’t really like the idea of “cancer” being in the title either. I want God to be praised, for all He’s done. He brought us through the whole terrible, wonderful ordeal.

Over my front door, in black permanent marker are the words, “Show Me Your Glory” Exodus 33:18 They were written in a moment of complete desperation for God to reveal Himself to me and our family. In 2009 David and I had a child totally out of control (?), and a house FULL of  boys living with us off and on. We were stretched financially trying to feed them all and emotionally exhausted tending to each heart. In a moment’s time, everything came crashing down. We realized our son needed help! Our scope narrowed to just our family.

Onto this scene came the cancer. Out of the blue, so to speak. The story begins here with my journal entries. I also kept a “Caringbridge” site where David’s medical updates and all prayer requests were posted. These too have gone into the book, very much modified however. I did not include all of the amazing supportive guest posts that friends and family left us. These sustained me, but felt too personal. Therefore, comments regarding such, had to be left out.

It’s been an interesting task, one that has brought me healing and closure. I needed to see the whole picture. Maybe it has been simply for me. Maybe I should try and publish. Either way, I think our children will find it interesting to read someday. Some were young and they ALL missed big portions as we were often separated during that time.

What seemed so monumental and all consuming is quickly becoming a chapter in our lives; something of the past. But I protest! It changed me, it changed us!I don’t want to forget. If I had large stones I’d pile them up in the yard like God told Israel to. That’s why I wrote the book, so at least my children will ask, “Mom, why did you write this?” and I could say, “Oh honey, let me tell you what God did!”

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