Old is still on my mind, but not because I’m becoming so ancient, it’s my care of the 2 elderly people in our house… 24/7. My parents. They are always here. They constantly have needs. This situation is growing more difficult with time. It hasn’t brought out the “best” in any of us.
I wrote last time about being prepared for the next “move of God” in our lives while going through this current experience. I said that this idea brought me Hope, because God isn’t finished transforming or using me. I also mentioned how as long as I’m still breathing there’s the chance for something new to happen. All of this is still very true.
What I’ve been struck with again and again since posting that is –what if this is my greatest work and I keep thinking of how to move on? What if the care of these 2 is what God has spent so many years and experiences preparing me to do. Ugh. I stewed on this for several days… not happy. Even if it isn’t so great, shouldn’t I be treating it as if it is?
In years past, I gladly galavanted around the country dancing ballet for several companies. Sore muscles and bloody feet, I was having a ball; it was my thing. I then followed the man-of-my-dreams down the isle and off to law school, convincing him 3 kids was not enough. I even talked him into homeschooling and adoption!
When our baby was 8, I sure didn’t think of David’s cancer as this “great calling,” it was just raw survival by solely trusting God. Not much to say about the ensuing financial hardship, it just plain stunk. Discovery of our son’s drug addition and the whole recovery process that followed did however give us a strategic placement of sorts (after the initial shock), for lots of other kids and even some parents.
But what of this new life-venture? Who could it benefit, other than the obvious? Is it just luck-of-the draw because I live closest to my parents? Or possibly -is it more important than I can calculate? Was this a gift from God? Might these events of doctor’s visits, hospital stays, in-home healthcare and Hospice have a positive impact on the children we still have living at home? The daily interaction with grandparents, watching bodies turn frail and even Dementia strip away at personalities… could these have an affect on their future vocations?
Maybe just seeing first hand how their Mom and Dad handle it all -or struggle to handle it at all. Hmmm, food for thought…