I’ve posted a lot of nutrition info lately… It’s been good to have something to obsess over besides my mom’s health!. She’s been bringing us a good deal of concern since back in December of 2014.
We really believed for several weeks following my dad’s death in February, that she might join him at any moment. Our kids gathered several times to tell her goodnight and goodbye, thinking we wouldn’t see her in the morning. However morning after morning came and finally my husband said for us all to stop. Hanging on the edge, waiting for someone to pass in this way is emotionally draining -and unhealthy. Life had to continue. Especially the daily joys over things like growing up!
It’s been a special privilege to house and care for my parents in their last months, but as I’ve mentioned before it is also been exhausting. We now find ourselves again at (the strong possibility of) “death’s door” -waiting and wondering what each moment will bring. Yet in the midst of this struggle, there are birthdays and a learner’s license, a graduation and many exciting future plans being made!
I feel somewhat emotionally yanked around by the neck -accompanied with literal pain. My only solid ground is in the LORD. He encourages me again and again to ask Him for wisdom, err on the side of mercy and find my peace and Joy in Jesus. Many times throughout the day I run to Him and ask for a refocus.
This has all been considerably more than I bargained for, but I pray it will be used in our children’s lives… (far more than I could ask or think). Until then I’m testing the depths of God’s great grace. -For the record I haven’t touched bottom yet!